You probably don't want to really hear about how much I miss my husband but I do. I am now counting the days until I can see him (even though Uncle still hasn't provided us with an exact date yet). I always feel like part of our home is missing; part of our life. Up until this point it was something I pretty much accepted and adjusted to the key words are "up until this point". Now, it's not so easy anymore. For me, it is always the hardest at the end. I just miss him. I guess it's really that simple.
I've started saying goodbye. No, I don't actually speak those words. Not yet. Not when we don't have a date or a post. Now though, I'm conciously aware when I visit that it just might be the last time. I visit anyway though; never letting on that we might not walk this way again. I haven't hid the fact that I'm leaving but at the same time, time is relevant and you can get so busy living life that days quickly turn into months before you turn around. And I'm no good at goodbyes. I cry, my heart hurts and as loved as I feel in that moment I also feel completely alone. So I won't spotlight that the last time will be the last time. I'll simply let the days fall off the calendar quietly and without fanfare. It's easier that way.
Sexy Beast said he has to start reading my blog. It's another way for us to stay connected while he is on one coast and I'm on the other. (Note to self....no mentioning his birthday gift on here!). Although with his work schedule, I doubt that he'll really have the time. He's starting taking classes now as well so there goes what little free time he has. And with that we add just another reason that I'm so very proud of him.
Allergies are acting up so for now I'm going to bed. I'm sorry for the boring blog. I'll do better...I promise. Something exciting is bound to happen over the weekend. It usually does! Wish I knew how many more of these Maine weekends I have left. Really looking forward to this Army way of life!
That's all for now....the rest will come!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
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