It's been awhile. I'm sorry. My life has been chaos, craziness and madness. When things get hard, I am known for shutting down, pulling in and disappearing. I focus completely on the task at hand and have no energy left over to give anyone else. I was at that place for awhile and I'm sorry.
Went to Oklahoma about two weeks ago. Checked out the Post (growing up around the Navy means I sometimes forget it's not called a Base), checked out houses and schools and the local McDonald's. :) Yup, their fries will do just fine. The wind blows there....most every day. It's kind of funny the things that take you by surprise about a place. I'm pretty much convinced that if we go to OK, my hair will be a Hot Mess (that's my new phrase and I double heart love it) for the next three years. There's some sense of freedom though that comes to simply resigning yourself to messy hair. Kinda like, you now have time to focus on things of more importance.
Still no orders....so for now, we sit and wait. Kinda like that runner on the starting line waiting for the gun. What else can you do?? My Sexy Beast re-enlists tomorrow. I'm so proud of him and it breaks my heart that I won't be there. I'm fully aware that he's not just promising that HE'LL give the Army as much time as they want. He's promising that WE'LL give the Army as much time as they want. He's signing his name and taking that oath but there will be four more names that aren't seen but are there just the same. Only one voice will speak the creed and make the promise but there will be four other lives living it and making the sacrifices as well. The unseen ones but just as real. I wish I could be there to shed my tears, kiss his face and stand a bit taller when I'm once again reminded that I married a hero. I wish that I could be there to remind him that it's his choice but our journey. He has promised me a photo though and it will be one that I frame and treasure. It will be a reminder of his commitment....of our commitment....our life.
So...drama ensued while I was in Oklahoma. Go figure. Four days with my husband and I can't simply enjoy, relax and memorize those moments. Veder (ex husband 1) rushed out and filed papers for custody of my oldest son (The Teen). Not because I'm a bad mom but because at 14, my son was freaking out about moving. So instead of talking to me about it and both us getting on the same page....he chose the other route. It was a week of sheer hell for me. Tears, heartaches (literally) and sadness. There is no need to rehash what happened (because I'll just get mad again) but needless to say, I did not just give in. After much talking, praying and several agonizing days, we have settled this temporary madness. End result is.... The Teen IS going to Oklahoma. Gee....who knew?? Grrr! Ah, the joy in breathing again.
I had a birthday yesterday! I love love love my birthday. I always wake up early and feel that GREAT things are bound to happen simply because it is my birthday! And I'm right! Yesterday was a great day. My friends blew up my facebook page reminding me that I'm not alone. Talked to Zona (BFF) for about an hour. Opened birthday boxes. Spent time with sweet Bella (who made me laugh all night) and then came home and Skyped with my husband. He called me Beautiful and I cannot tell you how that makes my heart fill. Moms (my MIL) made me a beautiful bouquet of silk flowers that perfectly matches my wedding bouquet. I was instantly back on that beach standing barefoot while I married my soldier. Such a perfect day! I've pretty much decided that I'm going to rock 36!
I guess that's all for now. My dog needs to go out, there are dishes to wash, laundry to fold and groceries to buy (oh yeah, once again GOD BLESS the commissary and the fact that I was able to get my military ID during our Oklahoma visit!!!). I have life to live and the faster I make it through this day, the closer I am to my new life! I'll write more later but for now, life waits.
The rest will come......